Won't The Real Sophie's Mother Please Stand Up?

Who's Irish by Gish Jen:

While reading Who's Irish? by Gish Jen, I really became interested in the relationships that the young girl, Sophie had with others. She seemed to be influenced by the people surrounding her. For example, her friend
Sinbad telling her to kick people because he did it to his mother and thought it was a fun thing to do, even though it was very disrespectful.

Another example was from the boys in the park who wanted her to turn around so they could see her butt while she was undressed, which is the scene I definitely found disturbing considering they were wanting to see a three year old child's buttocks, assuming they are older boys as I perceived them as. Sophie also seemed to be influenced mostly by Amy, her guitar playing babysitter that had very eccentric views about life that Sophie struck more as creative such as "Bare feet is best" and "There are no germs in pee"(Jen, 180). But who was truly more of the motherly figure in Sophie's life? Her grandmother or her actual mother? In my opinion, I believe the grandmother acted more like a mother to Sophie than her own birth mother did.

For one example, Sophie's grandmother would actually discipline Sophie if she did something bad. Whether it was a spanking or not being allowed to eat if she takes off her clothes. Sophie's birth mother, Natalie never showed any signs of disciplining her daughter if she did something wrong and was against her daughter being disciplined by Sophie's grandmother. I honestly thought Natalie would want her mother to discipline Sophie if she did something bad but she was against it. However, by Natalie not disciplining Sophie, it made me think if she never gets disciplined for things she does wrong or gets disciplined for them by her grandmother but not her mother, then she will think she can get away with it, think that she isn't doing anything wrong and later, even think that since she can get away with one thing, she'll be able to get away with everything else she does that's bad and that she can have everything her way.

While some of the discipline Sophie's grandmother had done could be perceived as harsh at times, it was done with good reason. Sophie's grandmother wanted Sophie to learn that the things she was doing were wrong so she could stop doing them. She wanted Sophie to know what she was doing was bad so she would not do them in the future. One example of how the discipline worked well was the fact that Sophie stopped taking off her clothes after getting spanked once and being warned of getting spanked if she did it again. Sophie ended up crying but she did put her clothes back on and stopped taking them off from then on, baffling Sophie's mother about how the grandmother was able to stop Sophie from taking her clothes off.

From my experience as a child, I would get spanked if I did something wrong, which wasn't often because I usually wouldn't do anything bad. If I did do anything bad, it was usually because I didn't know any better at the time but once I got spanked and warned to not do it again, like Sophie, I would stop because I would remember that spanking and knew that I didn't want to get spanked again for it. While Sophie may think of her grandmother as a "Meanie" and say that she hated her(Jen, 184), I could tell she truly did love her grandmother, which was seen when Sophie would give her grandmother kisses on the nose. What Sophie really hated was not her grandmother but being disciplined but in the long run, I think the discipline will teach her right from wrong and I think Sophie would later have much respect and admiration for her grandmother as she gets older, matures and realizes the discipline was because her grandmother loved her and wanted her to be safe and be brought up right, with good morals.

Works Cited:
Jen, Gish. Who's Irish?. 1999.